Not driving
At 17 I refused to learn to drive. I cannot remember a single other person in my class at school who took the same decision. Even now people express surprise on learning that I can’t drive and a lot of people still ask when I am going to learn. I will never learn, not now. I thought at one stage I might give in, as everyone seemed to think I would. I was even offered a car as part of a job once. But I still never learned and now I am pleased and surprised by my own steadfastness.
Where I grew up in affluent rural Cheshire, driving was considered essential in order to gain any kind of independence and freedom. Parents regarded teaching their children to drive as one of their final duties. It was perhaps one they approached with more enthusiasm than the others because it made them feel like experts and it released them from the taxiing role they had played for so long. So integral was driving to the idea of freedom that one of my friends intended to steal the family Volvo as soon as he passed his test and drive it to Russia, where he had a female pen pal, and then return it by boat once he was firmly ensconced. My Dad offered me lessons but I never took a lesson, I never took the test and I found my freedom in other ways.
I had a number of reasons for not learning to drive but environmental concern was the main one. Even a child can see how the car makes neighbours strangers to one another, causes noise and danger and stifles nature with great long ribbons of grey tarmac. The smell and the smoke coming out of car exhausts made my childish but not wholly inaccurate mind worry about the end of the world.
My family was also a reason for me not to drive. Although Dad offered to teach me and pay for some lessons I did not really feel like taking him up on the offer. I had had enough of Dad’s amateur mathematics tutoring to put me off the idea of him ever teaching me anything again. When I heard about how much lessons cost I thought it seemed like an incredible waste of money. In fact my penny pinching streak has played more of a part in many of my environmental decisions than I might care to admit.
The final straw was watching my elder sister go through the process of learning. The tortuousness of her lessons with Dad and the battles she fought once she had passed it, mainly over when she could have the car, what for, and whether she could drive it out of the narrow garage by herself. My sister has unknowingly fought and won many battles on my behalf. The one for which I am most grateful is not having to wear an ‘A’ line skirt to school because S fought furiously, and finally successfully, against it for herself to the point where our mother didn’t even try to make me wear one. But the battles over her learning to drive were so awful and were so close to the point of us leaving home that I decided not to even enter the fray.
On having made the decision not to drive, I watched my contemporaries, one by one, learn and take the test. Amongst my peers there was a huge amount of rivalry over who could pass first and with the fewest number of lessons. Gradually I began to sit as a passenger in my friends’ cars, a habit of freeloading that continues to this day. One of the good things about never learning to drive is that I am blissfully unaware of how good or bad particular drivers are so I am never able to fear for my life, even when there is cause to.
One thing I did become painfully aware of is how being behind the wheel turned my friends into people I did not know. Whilst Mr Toad was amusing and loveable in his glee over his ‘poop-pooping’ motor car, my friends were loutish and frightening. Even my gentlest friend M can swear like a Tourettes sufferer behind the wheel. Not only that they became terrific motoring bores. My sister, like me, married a man she had met and got to know as a young teenager. As 17 years old this was the most thrilling and romantic time in their relationship yet what seemed to animate them more than anything else was in-car conversations about three point turns and other such mysteries.
The sixth form common room was full of similar conversations. One girl seemed genuinely traumatised that she had failed her test for the third time after driving through a large puddle. Despite living through all these tedious technical conversations my lack of knowledge about cars and motoring is so complete that it is actually a little debilitating in adult life. My mother, who is partially deaf, often adopts a safely neutral expression when pretending to have heard something that she hasn’t. I use the same tactic when people use motorways and junction numbers to describe geographic locations. I have no idea where any of the ‘M’s’ are no matter how often they might be mentioned in everyday life. I have no idea how much cars cost. No even roughly. There seem to be a bewildering number of car brands and makers on the market and I can’t tell the difference between any of them. I couldn’t tell you the make or indeed the colour of any of my friends cars, even if they’ve been driving the same car for years, and I certainly couldn’t locate the car in a car park, even if I’ve got out of it five minutes before. I don’t know what the clutch is or the difference between a handbrake and a footbrake and the only reason I know what a gear is is because bikes have them too. The only thing I know about cars is that if someone has got one I think them less of a person for it which makes me unhappily superior to the rest of the population.
The best thing that not driving gave me was cycling, a habit initiated by my cycling proficiency test aged 11. There are few childhood memories as wholesome as cycling on my brown shopper to St. Lukes church to sing at choir practice with our charismatic vicar and our cheery and rotund choir mistress. Being able to do something so dangerous by myself gave me a thrilling sense of space but also centredness. I was once stopped by the police for cycling without lights whilst coming back home in the evening time. I developed a habit of cycling on the pavement which I’m afraid I still do.
By the age of 17 cycling was already such a habit that I didn’t consider the independence offered by driving as that important because I was already free. This freedom was partly about the ability to get from A to B under my own steam, but it was also about cycling fast down steep hills. I love the feel of my body falling whilst freewheeling a downward plummet. Cycling was such a large part of my early life that walking still feels like travel at the wrong speed.
How have I managed without driving? In the early years it was cycling. Later at Durham it was the train. Train to see M at York, train to St. Andrews to see D and S, train home to Manchester, platform 13, or Crewe, platform 1. Not once did my parents drop me off or collect me from University. I do not say this as a statement of resentment, but as one of curiosity as it was unusual then and probably even more so now. I arrived and left Durham with what I could carry and consequently acquired very little during my time there, or indeed afterwards. This is an example of one environmental good deed leading to another. I arrived as a young graduate in London with a single suitcase and immediately was no longer an oddity because no one else drove either.
A secret of my car free status is that I am a happy accepter of lifts. There is a certain type of older gentleman who will always give a lift to a younger lady rather than see her walk. Another one of my guilty secrets is taxis. I love to sit in the back of a plush London cab. Without a seatbelt, slipping a bit on the smooth seats, watching the scenes of picture postcards and history books appear like a movie through the windows. During my ten years there I never tired of this and I now tip with more confidence and panache than anyone I know.
Taxis are of course expensive. I travel a lot through my work as a researcher and it wouldn’t be unheard of for me to pay £40 for a single journey. I spent a fortune on taxis whilst pregnant. My mother in law would balk at such extravagance but in my experience the people who are least shocked by the suggestion of a taxi and indeed who would know the number and book one for you, are those people who don’t have much money and fully appreciate how expensive it is to own and run a car.
Public transport is uncomfortable but easy in London and I use it elsewhere as well. Even the most remote and improbable places have train and bus services, tourist information boards, taxi offices and friendly people to show you the way. You could drop me anywhere in the country and I would get home safely.
As I’ve got older I’ve begun to worry less about the environmental apocalypse that I fear is coming, and started instead to look forward to the time when other people live more like me. I am hoping that after decades of increasing car use and ownership the trend will reverse during my lifetime. Sometimes I look forward to this promised land where I will be old but my ideas will be as fresh as paint on a new, quieter world.
There would be some cars in this world, but all those smaller unnecessary trips will have been wiped out. Hitchhiking will have become popular and acceptable, even for small distances, even for the school run. Parents will ride trikes, with ingenious child seats and space for shopping. Neighbours and work colleagues will be able to take part in hi-tech car pools where tracking devices show where cars are going and whether a friendly lift is on offer. I think people’s social lives will change too. It will become more acceptable to cull friends who live far away, rather than carrying out dutiful long journeys to maintain the relationship. People will base themselves more permanently in their locality, live their lives on solid ground, live in the moment. Where longer journeys are necessary, people will use budget car hires trading in second hand cars and bargain insurance deals. The cars that are on the roads will be smaller and less polluting and a modern interpretation of the Robin Reliant is on the market. Professional walkers accompany school children to school and help older people get to the shops.
Will I ever live in this world I wonder? The world moves fast but not as fast as our imaginations. Perhaps my world is merely a fantasy recreation of the 1950s England for which I have great fondness but never experienced. Perhaps by the time the traffic slows down and begins to fade away there’ll be bigger problems to contend with, like extreme weather, panic migration, and financial collapse. Perhaps I’ll die early and I’ll never know. In the meantime I walk down the street taking my revenge in small ways, like glaring at drivers as they speed round corners and pressing the pelican crossing button even when I don’t want to cross.







